and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
