I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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