My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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