we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
don't judge my taste in strippers
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
