obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
