apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
