Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
