I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He passed out mid-signature
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
