Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

why im i the only drunk person in the library?

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(315): View more from New York

it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.

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(619): View more from California

im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.

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(573): View more from Missouri

She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.

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(630): View more from Illinois

The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?

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(503): View more from Oregon

I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.

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