That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
