Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
