I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Panties = found
Randomize
