im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize