I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Randomize
