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My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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