I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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