My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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