you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
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