Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
