So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We talked him into tasing himself.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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