we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
