You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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