I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
not ubering you a puppy
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