Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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