i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
