actually, I'm a sock model
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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