Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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