Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize