She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
