My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
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