Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
