My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
