Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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