all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize