Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize