After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
