apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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