So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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