Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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