I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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