You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
