is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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