With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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