dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
