he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
