I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Enjoy the penises
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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