did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
