how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
