Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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