He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
