we have officially lost it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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