Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
