Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
