It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
