I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Randomize
