I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
