he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
