Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize