Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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